The MIT Prom Vault: Not Even a Tropical Storm Can Stop Us
On August 29, 2009 at 12:00 PM:
NEWS FLASH UPDATE (8/28/09): The Prom Vault has a rain location. Not even a tropical storm can stop us. In case of inclement weather, the 2009 MIT Prom Vault will be held on the Johnson Indoor Track at 120 Vassar Street, Cambridge 02139. Additional Prom Vault features recently added: LIVE JAZZ BAND, DANCE FLOOR, AND PROM PICTURES!! We’ll see you there.
NEWS FLASH (8/19/09): The Prom Vault now features prizes, courtesy of M-F Athletic!! Not only will the top finishers receive honors as 2009 Prom Vault King and Queens, they’ll receive gift certificates AND T-Shirts!
…Haven’t you ever wondered how high you could pole vault in black tie attire? The time is upon us, dear vaulters, when you shall wonder no more. On August 29, 2009 at MIT at 12 pm (warmups at 11:30), the world will witness the first-ever black tie pole vault event: The MIT Prom Vault! The event, put on by the MIT Pole Vault Club, will include highlights such as:
- A full-on pole vault competition in tuxedos, suits, dresses, skirts, and other hilarious formal getups!
- Couples scoring!
- Setting the World Formalwear Pole Vault Records!
- Awesome good times!
- Unparalleled amazing hyperbole!
But wait, you might exclaim! Is this even possible? If you were to ask such a question, we might refer you to our FAQ:
Q: Is this even possible?
Yes, we have already conducted extensive research into the practicality and safety of pole vaulting in suits, tuxedos, long fancy dresses, and skirts. With slight modifications to said clothing such as hems, tacks, strategic cuts, and excessive use of safety pins, we have found the formalwear to be more than adequate pole vault attire. In fact, the addition of such classy outerwear was found to improve both step consistency and plant timing!
Q: What if I don’t want to ruin my own suit, dress, or other fancy clothing?
We would never recommend that you should. Goodwill and Salvation Army have extensive offerings of all types at reasonable prices that won’t preclude your creative, sometimes destructive modifications to the clothes.
Q: What kind of suit, dress, or tuxedo should I buy at Goodwill for the Prom Vault?
Imagine that you were going to do something frighteningly athletic such as pole vaulting in your new fancy clothes. Buy fancy clothes that would be good to pole vault in.
Q: Help! I got some fancy clothes found out that it’s hard to put my arms up with a suit jacket on, and I’m also tripping over my dress while doing pole runs on the track. I don’t have a sewing machine or any know-how to fix these scary problems!
Facilities will be available on-site along with individuals posessing the required expertise to modify your clothing into premiere, finely tailored pole vault supergarments. Available equipment will include copious amounts of safety pins, needles and thread, tape, more safety pins, possibly a sewing machine, scissors, and an extra bin full of safety pins.
Q: I saw that the scoring is in couples. What if I can’t find a date?
There is no shame in going stag to the Prom Vault; in fact, you might prefer to do so. The opportunities to connect with a suitable teammate will be abundant at this seminal event.
Q: I want to compete! How do I sign up for this, the most amazing sports competition ever conceived?
Email entries@MITpromvault.com to sign up! Competitors: $25/ea, Students $20/ea. USATF membership required.
Q: I had a question which was not addressed in this FAQ!
That’s not a question, but thank you for sharing. Email entries@MITpromvault.com with your actual question.
Q: Who did you say donated the gift certificates for the prizes?